


October 2012

by millietreks



Series: Home Is Wherever I'm With You [2]
Category: Actor RPF, Star Trek RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Pinto, Wordplay as foreplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 13:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millietreks/pseuds/millietreks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"That weekend was incredible. You know, I actually stayed up for an hour just watching you sleep? Talk about far gone," he softly laughs. "I wanted it to last forever, and when you called me out, telling me to just grow a pair and live my life I blew up. I vented all of that frustration and anger out on you, and I shouldn't have."</p><p>Angst. Crappy coffee. The Shoes.</p><p>My second post to the "Home Is Wherever I'm With You" series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	October 2012

Zach sits alone, idly stirring the tea he's yet to taste, despite it being placed in front of him nearly 10 minutes ago.

He's anxious. 

They haven't spoken in weeks, laid eyes on one another in nearly a month. Sure, they've fought over the years, but nothing like what had happened that night. He closes his eyes in frustration as it plays out once more in his mind. He's not sure if he's more frustrated at Chris' reaction, or at himself for bringing it up in the first place. The latter seems more fitting lately. He knew before the words had left his mouth that it wouldn't end well. He's clearly just a glutton for punishment. Which also explains why with only a few days in LA he can't _not_ see Chris.

So, here he is. Sitting in the back booth of a dingy coffee shop at midnight, waiting.

He is brought out of his thoughts by the clatter of the bell above the door. Rather than looking up he keeps his gaze on the cup of lukewarm tea, listening as the familiar footfall comes closer. The slide of denim against plastic upholstery. The slight rattle of the table top as tired forearms drop themselves onto it.

When he looks up the sight before him is not what he's expecting. Rather than the annoyance he feared he finds a familiar anxiety, and at the realization lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"Hi", Chris softly exhales, the same relief evident.

Zach lets a small smile cross his lips as he replies, "Hey."

"So, uh, how've you been?"

"Good," Zach nods, as if to make the white lie more convincing, "Busy. You?"

Chris mirrors the motion, "Yeah, same. You know."

It's awkward and he hates it. They don't do awkward. Their conversations have always been so fluid, their banter easy. This isn't right.

The silence is broken when the waitress comes over with a pot of coffee, offering a cup to Chris. He gives her _that damn smile_ as she pours and thanks her as she walks away. Zach doesn't let himself feel jealous.

Chris takes a sip and grimaces. "Shit, that's terrible."

Zach can't help the laugh that escapes, and is thankful when Chris breaks into a grin and the awkwardness slowly begins to melt away.

"I've missed you," Chris confesses, the grin still visible on his lips.

"Same here," Zach begins, "and I asked you here because I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Chris shakes his head, "No. No, you can't apologize for telling me how you feel. That's just... No."

"Fine. Then I'll apologize for the _way_ I said it. I wanted to make you feel guilty, and I truly am sorry for that."

"Zach, I didn't need you telling me how disappointed you were to make me feel guilty. The guilt has always been there, and always will be. Yeah, it hurt coming from you, but I've always known it's how you felt. How you feel."

Zach sighs, "I just hate that you feel you need to hide this huge part of yourself. Or rather, I guess I hate the people and the business that say you need to hide it to be successful. I feel like I've managed to overcome that and want the same for you. But I didn't say that in New York, I made it about us, and that was wrong. Our relationship has always just been what it is. 'Casual' doesn't seem right because I'm fucking crazy about you, but I've also known from the beginning that we're never going to get some kind of happily ever after. That night though, after the weekend we'd had I just..." He motions frustration with his hands and lifts his head up to meet those clear blue eyes, which were looking as guilty as ever.

"I know", Chris runs a hand over his bearded face. "That weekend was incredible. You know, I actually stayed up for an hour just watching you sleep? Talk about far gone," he softly laughs. "I wanted it to last forever, and when you called me out, telling me to just grow a pair and live my life I blew up. I vented all of that frustration and anger out on you, and I shouldn't have."

Zach reaches his hand across the table and lightly brushes it over Chris', who in turn spreads and twines their fingers together. They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Zach speaks again.

"I want to make more of an effort to see this from where you're standing. As much as I disagree with it all, I do want to wrap my head around why this needs to be the way it is, and even more so try to be more understanding about how difficult it is for you. I don't want to make you feel any more guilt. I love you and I want to support you." 

Zach is hopeful that the proclamation sounds much more confident and decisive than his actual feelings on the matter. And if it isn't, Chris doesn't call him on it. In fact, he seems to accept it, bringing Zach's hand up to his lips and placing a kiss over his fingers.

"Thank you," Chris replies, his smile growing, "for making the effort to see things from where I'm standing. Though," he takes a moment to make an obvious eye motion down to the floor, "when they say _'walk a mile in someones shoes'_ , I don't think it's meant to be taken quite so literally."

**Author's Note:**

> In my head canon The Shoes belong to Chris and that's the end of it.


End file.
